actually, at that time, the person is not his usual self anymore. he was probably under very great pressure that he lost his own control. it's not really lost his own control, but for example, when you are in a hurry, your talk is different. right? "hand me that coat! quick! quick! quick!" things like that. but normally, you would say "honey, please, can you give me that coat." is that not so? (audience: yes.) or when you're in pain -- for example stomach pain, heartache or whatever -- you scream loudly; and anyone who comes to talk to you, you don't talk in the usual way anymore, because you're in pain.

　　similarly, when you are in a mental or psychological pain, you talk also in a very grouchy way, very cross. but that is understandable. so if we -- any so-called loving partner or family member -- do not understand even this very least, very basic concept, then we're finished. then we are really in a bad situation. it's not that the partner will do anything to us. whether he does anything to us later or not, that is no problem. the problem is us. the problem is we degrade ourselves, that we make less of a being of ourselves than we should be, than we are supposed to be, or that we really are. so do not make less of a being of yourselves.